The Trigun Talkshow of Torture and No Purpose!
by Yuneek Chikinz
Summary: Ok so maybe there is kind of a twisted, inhuman plot maybe only Knives could dicipher. Either way, the studio goes up in a mushroom cloud this time. Come see who the Special Guest is! YEE.
1. Default Chapter

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YC: Yet another talkshow thing. But they're fun to write, everyone's doing it!! I could not resist. ^^ Ooooh I love writting!!  
  
PeopleInsideYC'sHead: You love it too much. We're moving.  
  
YC: NOOOOOO!! I...love you guys MORE!! THAN WRITTING!! ^^;  
  
PIYCH: Suuuure you do. All this insanity is making us sick.  
  
YC: But...but...if you stay...I promise to be sane for a long, long while!!  
  
PIYCH: O_O; No way! That's not possible!!  
  
A Random Guy: YC SANE? AHHHHHHHHH!! ITS THE SIGN OF THE APOLCALYPSE!! EVERYONE TO THE BUNKERS!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
  
MassCrowdOfPeople: *run around in circles screaming. Mass pandemonium reeks chaos in the "room".*  
  
PIYCH: SEE? You couldn't be sane if you TRIED. Or if you DIDN'T try!! :/  
  
YC: Fine. But if you stay, I'll let you...um.....umm....I'll....send you that picture I snapped of Legato in a dress hugging Vash and getting drunk and singing the "I Love Spiders" song!! I'll even send the video on DVD!! o_O (Video on DVD?! WHAT THE-)  
  
PIYCH: REALLY? Its a DEAL! *laugh moniacly* Mwahahahaha!! Blackmail time....*evil faces and drag Legato off the stage*  
  
Legato: O_\\ NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Legato's nails dig into the wood floor and make deep gashed marks as he's dragged off* DON'T LEAVE ME!! AHHHHHHH!!  
  
YC: O.O;;; Ahem...well....talkshow time!! 8D  
  
********  
  
Chapter One: Its a PUDDING-INTERVIEWDAY-TORTURECHEESECUBETHING World Out There!!  
  
*its pitch black, and a deep voice is heard*  
  
Voice: Welcome....to "The Trigun Talkshow of Torture and No Purpose"!! Your host....Yuneek Chikinz!! Our special guest today is: MILLY THOMPSON on INTERVIEW DAY!! Heeeeeeeeeere we goooooooo--*a light flickers on showing a really nerdy tiny guy at the mike.*  
  
NerdyGuy(who's really the Voice): Ummm...O.O;; YC!! YOU PROMISED!!*has a squeaky voice now*  
  
YC: whoops. ^^;;  
  
NerdyGuy:*starts flaming at the eyes* Grrr......  
  
YC: o.o; SECURITY!!  
  
*Middy & E.G. drag the NerdyGuy off the stage*  
  
NerdyGuy: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!! I HAVE FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIENDS!! *disappears off stage*  
  
YC: Don't we all? ^^ Well, except maybe Knives, who just tortures the people who serve him, buuuuut.....  
  
Knives: I resent that you filthy human ~CENSORED~!!  
  
YC: GASP! Shame Knives, you started swearing and threatening already and we haven't even started!!*snaps her fingers and the darkness is all lit up and junk and the set looks like a pastel-colored room with white trimming, fake green plants, a cushy couch, a wooden ominus chair, and a glass table with a bunch of papers on it.*  
  
YC: HELLO everybody, and welcome to the show!! ^_^  
  
Audience: *start shooting, stabbing, or strangling each other*  
  
YC: O.O Err.....*pushes a red button from nowhere and the sign above the audience changes from "Brutally Murder" to "Applause"*  
  
Audience: *applauds*  
  
YC: YAY! Ok, welcome to The Trigun Talkshow of Torture and No Purpose. I am your loving--  
  
Director: INSANE, get it right!!  
  
YC: -_-; I am your INSANE host, Yuneek Chikinz!! Today's show we'll be meeting a few people, and possibly torturing them. My mood will decide that ^^  
  
Audience: o_o;;..........  
  
YC: Our first guest is none other than the wonderful, sickeningly optimistic pudding-lover....Milly Thompson!!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
Milly: *walks in* Hello everyone!! Hello Ms. Yuneek Chikinz!!  
  
YC: ....Hello...Milly.....  
  
Milly: ^^ Bokushi-san is tagging along today, is that alright with you, Ms. YC?  
  
YC:....fine...but you call me "Ms. YC" again and I'll...I'll....I'LL GO INSANE!!  
  
Milly: O_O;;  
  
Director: You're already insane!  
  
YC: And...? 8D~  
  
Director: -_-;  
  
YC: TODAY'S INTERVIEW DAY!! Milly would you be so kind as to sit in that chair? The one with the chains draped on it and the iron wrist clasps?   
  
Milly: O.O Sure!.....  
  
Wolfwood:*walks in and sits down on the couch next to YC*  
  
YC: *starts drooling* Umm umm..yeah....  
  
Milly: Hello Bokushi-san! ^-^ *sits, and the iron wrist clasps bind Milly's wrists to the armrest thing* O_O; gasp!! *more iron things come from nowhere and chain her to the chair along with her legs and neck* AHHHHHH!!  
  
Wolfwood: 0_o  
  
YC: Told ya! This room was used by Knives last and I was low on money so I paid him what I had and five years of slavery....*shudders* BIG mistake.  
  
Wolfwood: I was under Knives since childhood! You got off easy, Author Person Lady!   
  
YC: Well...o_o; Thingy. *duct tapes Wolfwood's mouth shut and also tapes him to the couch* Did anyone tell you that you look CUTE in duct tape?? ^_^  
  
Wolfwood: MFFFF ~CENSORED~ MWAAAA!  
  
YC: Really? COOL! Ok Milly, let me ask you a few questions.  
  
Milly: PUDDING!! :D *totally oblivious to Wolfwood's tortured look*  
  
YC: I'll take THAT as a yes!! 8D!!! Now, when did you first start to like pudding so much? *has a laptop so she can type everything down*  
  
Milly: Huh? OH! Well um....let's see....I was about six when Big Sister was talking with Little Big Sister and Little Big Brother and Big Brother, and they all said I needed something to obsess over as a kid, so they stuck me inside the Little Big Bathroom and locked me in there with nothing but enough pudding and water for three weeks, so all I ate was pudding and water and I was stuck on it after that. Then they let me out, I was craving pudding so much it scared Little Sister, Little Little Sister, Big Little Brother, and Little Little Brother, and they told Big Sister and Little Big Sister and Little Big Brother and Big Brother how I was acting and Mom and Dad got mad at them and grounded them each for two minutes. They never did something to get punished that bad AGAIN!! *takes a deep breath*  
  
YC: O.O;......ummm onto the next question....Are you in looooooove with Nicholas over here?   
  
Audience: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!  
  
Wolfwood: ....0_0 *starts to struggle*  
  
YC: Can't have that! Sorreh, but Knives will kill me if his room-for-a-year's-rent is messed up! Only HE can really torture people in here. I just scrape the surface. And yes, he WILL kill me. *pulls out a blowgun and shoots a dart into Wolfwood's neck*   
  
Wolfwood: *keels over asleep on YC's shoulder*  
  
YC: *looks around quickly* ^-^ Heh-heh-heh....  
  
Milly:*still oblivious that Wolfwood was still there* Well...can you guys keep a seeeeeecret??  
  
YC: Sure! *coughs*  
  
Director: NO YOU CAN'T! LIKE THAT TIME I TOLD YOU I WAS AFRAID OF CLOWNS SO YOU GOT E.G. AND LEGATO TO DRESS UP AS CLOWNS AND SCARE THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME IN MY OWN HOME!! THEN YOU VIDEO TAPED IT, AND SENT IT AS CHAIN MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNEW!!  
  
YC:*just remembering* OOOOOOH! I remember THAT! *starts laughing hysterically* THAT WAS GREAT! And I think I forgot to mention that little wetspot under your bed afterwards. *evil grin*  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Director: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *spontaneously combusts*  
  
*the camera falls over, knocking the plants over, knocking the tv over, knocking the trashcan over, which leads to a domino chain-reaction of the whole set collapsing*  
  
YC: AHHHHHHHH!! EVERY MAN AND INSANE WOMAN FOR THEMSELVES!! *grabs Milly's chair and Wolfwood and drags them out.*  
  
*************  
  
YC: So much destruction. So much chaos. I LOVE IT!!  
  
Director'sPileOfAshes: I love WATER, which you had PLENTY OF!!  
  
Milly: I love my Bokushi-san!!  
  
Wolfwood: Mffffwaaa.....x_x  
  
Vash: I love Rem!!  
  
Knives: Humanity sucks. And I hate my brother.  
  
Legato: I hate you all.*wearing a pink frilly dress that's three feet to small for him and his hair in pigtails* p--X_\\--q  
  
PIYCH: Be nice Leggie! *evil smiles & grins*  
  
YC: That's all for now. Very rusty but that's how first chapters are...I SWEAR it will be even better next time!! REVIEW MAAAAAAN, REVIEW!! You gotta vote for who's coming up next!! PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE?? :D The candidates are:  
  
Knives  
  
Legato  
  
Vash and  
  
Rem  
  
Have fun picking!! O.O NOT YOUR NOSE!! -_-; Bye-bye til next...week! Day! Hour! Month! YEAR! 8D~~ SUGAR RULES!! 


	2. The Good, the Bad, and the Clinically In...

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YC: The "votes" are in. Well, ok, so three or four is pretty...bleh. But hey, those of you who were KIND ENOUGH to review and tell me are AWSOME. And, the winner is...  
  
PeopleInsideYC'sHead: Legato?  
  
YC: Shhhh!! The winner isssssss...KNIVES!  
  
PIYCH: Darn. We wanted to take better advantage of Legato with all that blackmail we owe that guy.  
  
YC: Very insane chapter coming up! You are warned. ^_^;;  
  
********  
  
Chapter Two: The Good, the Bad, and the Clinically Insane  
  
YC: ZING!  
  
=========  
  
*its pitch black, and a deep voice is heard....again. Except its really monotonous.*  
  
Voice: Blah, blah, blah, welcome to The Trigun Talkshow of Torture and No Purpose. Your host, Yuneek Chikinz.  
  
*lights come on to the same setting as last time; a pastelish baje room with a couch, an ominous looking wooden chair, and a clear glass-top desk with papers on it. Fake plants dot the areas around the walls.*  
  
YC: We got a new Voice. Anywho, welcome Audience People (and Readers) to the Trigun Talkshow of Torture and No Purpose! Like the wonderfully patient voice said, I am your host, Yuneek Chikinz. AKA: YC. I decided to extend Interview Day to Interview Few Days so we can be all random and junk and scare the hell out of you guys.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
YC: ^^; Today, our special guest is Millions Knives!!  
  
Audience: ......*cheers*  
  
YC: O_O......Millions Knives! The er...wonderful...*coughs*...person..plant..thing...who let me rent this little room we converted into a studio!!   
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
NewDirector: *obviously new, shaking slightly, out of fear and possibly paranoia.* D-don't forget m-me!  
  
YC: YEAH! We can't forget our new director dude! We just call him Newbie or N.D.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
YC: Before we move on, I'd like to point out that if there are any typo's in this chapter that are purposefully done so, I'll point that out. If I don't point a typo out, its a mistake.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
YC: oO; ...........Who had breakfast this morning? I didn't, that's for sure.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
YC: ............  
  
Audience: *cheers again*  
  
YC: STOP CHEERING ALREADY!!  
  
Audience: .........*in the complete silence, they play the crickets tape. A man barely seen in the back coughs quietly.*  
  
YC: YAY! Ok, Security, please be kind enough to bring out our special guest, wouldn't you?  
  
*Middy & E.G. drag out a struggling Knives in a straight jacket. Their faces look slightly sad*  
  
Knives: *BEAVER*DAM-- YOU ALL!!  
  
YC: Awww, sorry guys, I know it sucks to bag up your own lord and Master and ruthlessly drag him into his own halls of torture where he himself will almost loose his sanity. Its enough to make you cry, but I'm paying you extra, right?  
  
Midvalley: I'll see you at eight then?  
  
YC: *throws a book at Middy's face* I'm paying MONEY you horny....er...I'm paying MONEY you sick person thing!   
  
Midvalley: ACK! *gets beaned in the head with an Algebra 1 textbook. falls over senseless onto Knives*  
  
Knives: *screams like a girl* AHH! GET IT OFF! ITS TOUCHING ME!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
  
E.G.: Should I take him to the chair, chicken$h!t?  
  
YC: ......O_O.......*shakes her head* yeah, yeah, just dump Middy over there next to the trashcan. Thanks E.G.  
  
E.G.:*sighs and does what he's told, dumping Middy INTO the trashcan and dragging Knives to the wooden chair and setting him in it. Walks off the set.*  
  
YC: Yay! Ok, let's get started! *snaps her fingers and the iron clasps bind Knives into the chair.*  
  
RandomGuyFromtheAudience: Can we cheer now?  
  
YC: o_o yeah! Just don't cheer after every sentence.  
  
RGFA: WHOO!! *sits down*  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
Knives: You laugh now, but one day all of you weak spiders will die by my hands!!  
  
YC: That's nice dear. Let's all give a big hand to Millions Knives!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
YC: Ok Knives, I'd like to start off and say thank you again for letting me rent this room...studio..thing.  
  
Knives: *disgusted look on his face*..........  
  
YC: So...can you answer a few questions for us?  
  
Knives: Fine. If it gets you stinking humans off my back. Go ahead, I'm waiting.  
  
YC: SWEET! Ok, first question, why did you choose to put "millions" in front of your name? Its not that I don't like it, but you can't help but wonder.  
  
Knives: I didn't think that any other of those humans would remember what a million was, and I was extremely bored. I would have changed it but it stuck with them, so that's how it is.  
  
YC: Ooooo....ok, onto the next question.....Why do you blame the ...humans...for using plants as power sources when it was your fault they crashed on Gunsmoke in the first place?  
  
Knives: o.o..........I have no idea. And if you ask me again, I'll hunt you down, and kill you.  
  
YC: Whoa....threatened! COOL!! Oh and steal Vash's gun and kill me with that if you don't mind, if you DO hunt me down, and kill me.  
  
Knives: ..............  
  
YC: Are you still mad about that Tasty Hairs thing? The Milly incident was completely out of our range of...ness. o_o; We had no idea, maaaan!!  
  
Knives: ..........coughHIPPIEcough.........  
  
YC: HEY! I remember the sixties, which means I wasn't there!! Mr. I-LOVE-CAREBEARS!! xP  
  
Knives: GASP! *goes red* that was....my evil twin!  
  
YC: Wait...you're evil! Ok, I'm confused.  
  
Old Man: Yes I am.  
  
YC: O.O;;  
  
Knives: Then it was......my GOOD twin!  
  
Vash: SHUT UP! I AM your good twin!! Ok, I admit Rem DID drop me on my head a few times when I was still a baby for that short period of time, but I am not THAT screwed up!  
  
Knives: What the--where did you come from?! *glares at Vash*  
  
Vash: YC HE'S GLARING AT ME AGAIN!!  
  
PIYCH: *snaps their fingers* Legato, please bring out the duct tape.  
  
Legato: *comes out wearing the same pink frilly too-small dress with a matching pink bow to boot in his hair, and walks to the duct tape.* Yes....Masters.....  
  
Duct Tape: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! RESTRAINING ORDER! RESTRAAAAAINING ORDEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*The duct tape suddenly has feet and runs around being cased by Legato.*  
  
YC: LEGATO? IN A FIVE YEAR OLD'S DRESS? RUNNING?! IT BURNS!!! MY EYES!! MY VIRGIN EYEEEEEEEES!!  
  
New Director: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE ANYWAY?! *keels over off the director's platform and faints to the ground*  
  
YC: GAH! NOT AGAIN! *runs over to Knives and grabs him by the shoulders.* WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!  
  
Audience: *watches the pandemonium in amazement.*  
  
YC: *pushes the shiny red button from nowhere and the sign above the audience that says "Stare at the Pandemonium in Awe" changes to "Scream and Run Around In Circles".*   
  
Audience: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *screams and runs around in circles.*  
  
Vash: OMG! DONUTS DON'T EXIST IN THIS BUILDING? NOOOOO!! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?! *cries his maniac crying*  
  
Knives: O.O;  
  
Person Watching This On TV: Whoa....they're causing more chaos and pandemonium and destruction than the twins could manage in fifteen minutes?  
  
Other Person Watching This On TV: Who knew?  
  
*The readers (Yes, that's you.) suddenly see flames and the "film" breaks and the scenes become separated because...well...its burning. Everything is suddenly black.*  
  
*****************  
  
YC: *in bandages. Has eyepatches on her eyes, and sitting in a hospital bed.* Again, my chapter ends without a plot and in scary pandemonium. *sighs*  
  
Legato: *in the next bed over, less slurring and monotonous* You need a thesorous.  
  
YC: Yeah, but I'm bored. Using the same word so many times is--EXPLODING CHICKENS! *head lolls over onto her chest and YC drools a little*  
  
Nurseh: Uh huh. Like, random things like that are like....side-effects for her like....injuries.  
  
Knives: *In the bed on YC's other side, mumbling to himself*  
  
Nurseh: Yah. He went like, all schitzo n stuff. Or like, crazy...er.  
  
Rem's Ghost: Hi there! ^^; Since Miss YC is out, she told me to tell this to you readers if she was out. *reads off a paper* Umm....  
  
"REVIEW OR ELSE!! OO; & Tankies for reading, again. I'm always out of ideas, so tell me who the next poor soul is to be on our show. Your choices are:  
  
Legato  
  
Rem/Rem's Ghost  
  
Vash  
  
Meryl  
  
or anyone else you can think of. Have fun, sorry this chapter was...strange.~YC, maaaaan!"  
  
Rem's Ghost: *looks down at the paper. Blinks* Well...bye-bye!!   
  
Duct Tape: LAAAAAAAAME! You could come with a better ending than THAT!  
  
Legato: *coughs loudly*  
  
Duct Tape: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Oh wait, your in a hospital bed...phew.  
  
Legato: *uses his telekenisis and makes the Tape float over to his bed. Glares evilly.*  
  
Duct Tape: NOOO! HAVE MERC--  
  
*****  
  
THE END.  
  
(to this chapter, of course. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! LONG LIVE THE RUBBER CHICKENS!!) 


	3. I Didn't Feel Like Typing the Real Title...

************  
  
YC: BLAH! I wanna do Vaaaaaaaash! AND Legatooooo! ;-; And Rem's Ghost! And Meryl!!  
  
PeopleInsideYC'sHead: Why not all four?  
  
YC: Oooo. Good idea. Are you willing to not torture Leggie wif blackmail for a day or two? Or three or four?  
  
PIYCH: Darn. Well, ok. But we have demands we want you to meet to finish this deal.  
  
YC: Good frickin Exploding Chicken Llama Lords, give it a break!  
  
PIYCH: Fine. xP  
  
YC: Again, have fun in the freakish non-plotted story thing that I wrote for your enjoyment. Or torture. Which ever creeps up on you first. ^_^; And sorry folks, I can't find it in my heart to torture Legato any longer. Running around in a pink frilly dress gives your own self-pride a nasty, nasty, brutal, bloody, merciless massacre. And what's up with the wheelchairs everywhere?  
  
PIYCH: He uhh...lost use of his legs temporarily out of shock.*sweatdrops*  
  
YC: --;  
  
*******************  
  
Chapter Three: Los Gatos Es Muy Bonitos  
  
YC: Spanish, man. Spanish.  
  
==========  
  
*Authoress appears in a dark place, the only thing that light is being shed on.*  
  
YC: Translation, "cats are very pretty/beautiful" Please pardon my bad grammar if it IS bad. You know, Legato, Le Gato, El Gato. El gato is "the cat" or "cat" in masculine form in Spanish,(los gatos is plural) and Legato is very....*smiles.......coughs.........*...Onto more important business...*snaps her fingers, and the lights turn on to reveal her sitting at the couch in the room/studio from the last chapters, complete with evil-looking wooden chair and another one on the other side, glass-table with papers on it, the audience in the stands across from the main stage, and various fake shrubberies lining the walls.*  
  
YC: Welcome everybody, to the third session of the Trigun Talkshow of Torture and No Purpose!   
  
NewNewDirector: And a stupid long name that's extremely retarded?  
  
YC: You're gonna have to come up with a better comeback then THAT to diss me, NND.  
  
NewNewDirector: *CENSORED* teenagers.  
  
YC: O.O;; SHAAAAAAME! Ok everybody, since I wanna stick all the people on here that you, the wondeful reviewers suggested, that I'm gonna do all four. Its like...a Celeb. Royale or something. Anycheese, everybody give a big hand to VASH THE STAMPEDE, MERYL STRYFE, LEGATO BLUESUMMERS, and REM'S GHOST!!  
  
Audience: *cheers loudly*  
  
*Vash walks out wearing his trademark coat, Meryl walks out kind of dignified, Legato comes out in a wheel-chair with his coat on, a look of slight shock on his face, and Rem's Ghost floats out a bit behind him.*  
  
YC: We don't have enough torture cha--I mean, chairs, so Meryl, sit in the wooden chair, Rem's ghost um....just...float next to Meryl....Vash you sit in the other torture chair, and Legato, your on the couch. ^-^  
  
*Everyone sits where they're supposed to, Meryl hisses and growls when the iron clasps bind her to the chair. Vash just screams like a little girl.*  
  
YC: ^_^ YAY! Let's start with Legato for the questions. I'll give you a hotdog if you cooperate, ok Legato?  
  
Legato: *smiles slightly*  
  
Vash: WHOA! He SMILED! And it wasn't an evil one! HURRY, GET THE CAMERA!  
  
Audience: *takes pictures but in vain, YC puts a large piece of cardboard over the psyco's face*  
  
Audience: NOOOO!  
  
YC: He's evil but that doesn't mean he should be treated like a circus freak. Clowns scare me in ways none of you will EVER understand.*coughs* And Legato, well, he's to cute to be a clown.  
  
Legato: o.\\  
  
Vash: o_o  
  
Audience: O.o  
  
NewNewDirector: O.O  
  
Wolfwood: O_O  
  
Meryl: o.o  
  
Knives: 0.o  
  
Rem's Ghost: 0_0  
  
Milly: ^_^ Pudding!  
  
Everyone Else: O.O;;  
  
Knives: o_o;  
  
Wolfwood: O_o  
  
NewNewDirector: O.O  
  
YC: STOP IT.  
  
Legato: Yes ma'am.  
  
YC: *blinks*...............  
  
Meryl: o_o;  
  
Vash: O.o;  
  
YC: *growls*  
  
Vash: ^o^;;  
  
YC: Wha-- what are all of you doing here?! Well, Wolfwood's here, but...he's not supposed to be. Neither is Knives, who got over being schitzo, and Milly.  
  
Meryl: Do you have a problem? *hisses*  
  
YC: NO NO! I'm just wondering! ^^;  
  
Wolfwood: *lights a cigarette* Just watching.  
  
YC: *points to the non-smoking signs* Wolfwood, like one of the reviewers said, you look cute in ANYTHING and I agree but there's no smoking allowed in here. Besides, I'm kind of allergic to..to...ah...ah...ahhh....*SNEEZE*  
  
Everyone Else: .......o.o  
  
Wolfwood: Ok, ok. *puts the cigarette out*  
  
YC: STOP WITH THE FACES!! THEY BURN! And...why does everything BURN? I mean.....  
  
NewNewDirector: Pssssst, get on with the show!  
  
YC: Oh, oh, sorry. My bad. Ok, Legato, first question. How is it possible that you have blue hair and yellow eyes? Umm............yellow........eye. oO;   
  
Legato: *shrugs*  
  
YC: GOOD BOY! ^--^ *throws him a hotdog*  
  
Everyone: o_O;  
  
YC: Second question. Why do you obsess over hotdogs and cheesecake?  
  
Legato: Same reason Master Knives hates humans.  
  
YC: O.O Is that a good thing? Wait....but yet somehow I see no connection. *throws him another hotdog* Ok, since we have a special feature today, I'll cut these interviews short.  
  
Legato: *has an "awww" look on his face*   
  
YC: There's a hotdog buffet that opens after the show. o.o  
  
Legato: *sits up straight*  
  
YC: Cool beans! Alrigthty Vashu-sama, your turn!  
  
Vash: AHHHH NO DONUTS, NO DONUTS, NO DONUUUUUTS!!...........*suddenly has a quietish squeaky shrill voice* chicken! *twitches*  
  
YC: ......*throws him a donut.*  
  
Vash: *catches it in his mouth and swollows* I LIVE! Ok, what were you saying YC?  
  
YC: Your turn for an interview.  
  
Vash: Oh ok.   
  
YC: First question: Where is your obsession with donuts from anyway?  
  
Vash: I think it was Rem's favorite food. But I needed something that others understood to obsess over so I chose donuts.  
  
Rem's Ghost: Donuts are so fattening! VASH! I'm ASHAMED of you!  
  
Vash: *cries* MOMMY I'M SORRYYYYY!!  
  
Knives: You crybaby.*in a straight jacket slightly off the set*  
  
Vash: *sniffs*  
  
Rem's Ghost: KNIVES!  
  
Knives: xP  
  
YC: o.o Ooo-k...NEXT reviewee...Meryl Stryfe!!   
  
Meryl: Humph. Go ahead.  
  
YC: *looks down at her paper, up at the director, to Meryl, to the paper again, back to the director, and to the papers once again* WHO WROTE THIS CRAP?  
  
NewNewDirector: O.O; DON'T HURT ME! But...it was...you....  
  
YC: Well....I'm not paying for the damages!!  
  
Everyone Else: oO;  
  
YC: *gulps* M-Meryl, wonderful, beautiful, patient, kind, hard-working, under-appriciated, strong, lovely Meryl...*finally reads off the paper.*Why are you so b*CENSORED*y?  
  
Meryl: O.O;;  
  
Audience: o.o;  
  
Wolfwood: o_O;  
  
Legato: o_\\  
  
Knives: o.o  
  
NewNewDirector: *runs without hesitation*  
  
Milly: PUDDING!  
  
YC: ACK. I thought I told you to stop that!.....Meryl?  
  
Meryl: ....................  
  
Milly: *looks at Meryl* Meryl are you feeling ok?  
  
Meryl: *has fire burning in her eyes, anger visibly radiating from her body like.......radiation? oO;.....Meryl HISSES, showing fangs.*  
  
Everyone: AHHHHHH!! EVERYBODY RUN!! THE EVIL INSURANCE QUEEN'S GOT A GUN!  
  
(a/n: brief pause. I can't remember who wrote that song, about the Homecoming Queen That's Got a Gun. Weird Al, or Doctor Demento?(IRVING...had the one-hundred fourty-second fastest gun..in the West...IRVIIIIING.) My brothers had the CD's, so I can't remember since it was years ago. Anywho, there's the credit for the cheesey and misunderstood joke.)  
  
Meryl: *is turning half-demoness, bending the iron bars a bit.*  
  
YC: O.O KNIVES IS GONNA KILL ME--wait, he was gonna kill us all anyway. BUT STILL, IT COSTS ME EXTRA IF THE CHAIRS ARE DAMAGED! *snaps her fingers and Vash is free. YC grabs Legato due to his lack of being able to walk from the extensive torture and runs out along with everyone else. the area around Meryl is starting to look like one of those times when someone from DBZ powers up and rocks from nowhere start floating up into the sky. Except, I have a question, where the HELL did those rocks go? I mean, unless it was an excrutiatingly big one, they never fell. Did they just rise into the sky and forever orbit in space? Or burn up in the atmosphere? Who knows...*  
  
Audience: *run out too.*  
  
***On top of a cliff a distance from the studio next to Knives' hideout. Everyone's sitting there, watching the red energy beams coming from Meryl destroy the studio.***  
  
Knives: *sniffs* That was alot of money! D*CENSORED*ned spider woman...  
  
Vash&Rem'sGhost: BROTHKNERIVES!!  
  
Knives: *slightly and obviously has been rehabilitated somewhat* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  
  
Wolfwood: *far away from YC, smoking, an arm around Milly.(awwwwwwwwwww.^-^)* Honey that's one evil woman for a friend you got there.  
  
Milly: Yeah, but she means well. 8D  
  
Everyone Else: o_O;  
  
YC: *standing behind Legato with her hands on the handle things while he sits in another wheelchair, munching on more hotdogs.* Man, I thought I was going somewhere with this! And every time no matter how hard I try, the studio ended up in almost catastrophic danger, and now, its actually happened. *sobs*  
  
Legato: *keeps munching, pats YC's hand but no one sees and she doesn't notice out of depression and her small attention spa--Hey look, a bird!*  
  
Suddenly the building blows up in a huge mushroom cloud, and the shockwave ends just beyond the group, so everyone's all bending back going AHHHHHHH!!*  
  
Everyone: *bending back and away for cover going AHHHHHHH!!*  
  
The dust clears, and Meryl appears floating in the sky just over the cliff's edge.  
  
Everyone: o.O;  
  
Meryl: *looks about ten years younger, all stress gone from her face, wearing a white dress. Looks at everyone. and says in a soft, kind of ghosty-like child-like voice* Thank you, for setting me free. *floats up into the sky and disappears.*  
  
Wolfwood: In all my years of priesthood I've never seen THAT happen. *takes another drag on his cigarette thing.*  
  
*Everyone stares up into the sky and the twin suns set and cheesey music is heard in the background.*  
  
**********************************  
  
YC: Is it THE END? We'll see, in our next chapter!! And WHY must everything BLOW UP?! Oh well, at least none of us had to go into intensive care. ................again.  
  
Legato: *keeps munching* munch munch munch munch munch munch munch...  
  
Milly: *waves* Byeeeee for now! ^^  
  
Knives: I wanna say bye-bye!! *runs up to the camera, with a gun to the camera's lense.* Hehehehehe...bye-bye....*pulls the trigger and...*  
  
A little stick with a cloth comes out and the cloth unfolds and you see it has the word "Bang!" on it.  
  
Cameraman: *faints*  
  
Knives: WHO TOOK MY GUN?!*snarls*  
  
YC: *cough*torturechair*cough*  
  
Knives: I mean.....I'm so glad that's my gun NOW! *twitches*  
  
YC: *waves to the camera which is back up again* BYE-BYE! HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAAAAIN!! IN OUR NEW BUILDING THINGY!!  
  
Everyone Else: BYEEEEEEE!! 


End file.
